This poem is an installment of our In the Open Air series on poetics and Empire, curated by Aurielle Marie.

"His father, Omar, owned a clothing store off the market square… and the family lived nearby in a spacious if shabby corner home on the Rue de lâ Avenir—Future Street—near the local  police station." 

It comes and goes, this longing  
to carve into the news 
its overgrown carcass  
flayed, across pages and screens,
into its constituent parts. 

Here we are again scrying  
for the second text: inset  
message, veiled threat, 
its infidelity to our lives. 

It has us living hand to eye,
letters from loud tongues  
are counterfeit minted  
ground cockroach paste pablum. 
It enters the optic nerve,  
travels a news circuit, 
and is excreted through lips, 
hand to eye to mouth,  
in reverse mastication. 

Sentences grind teeth and
language launders extermination 
in an automatic all-night laundromat  
streaming on a static station, sleep-helm-operated 
by algorithm and a series of substitutions 
long ago and widely agreed upon: 

say "marginalized" but not "those subject to the moving walls of state apparatus" 
say "search for the suspect" not "execution squad" 
say "arab unrest" not "palestinian refusal to die" 

It comes and goes, and my appetite turns 
on words I wish I had, or those I'm grateful others do 
We knew then that "peace treaty" was accurately translated
as land grab, that "civilization" is always a word for genocide
and "democracy" merely a thin tarp for domination  
say patriot, but whisper: willing agent of supremacy 
read terrorist, and understand: enemy of this orderly abbatoir 

It comes and goes, and oh,
how quickly we go  
from protest to suspect to dead 
with no intervening state of being  
rarely "the accused" seldom "the defendant" 
Our neighbors may be shocked, beaten, blown away 
for missing a stop sign or taillight, for being mistaken 
for some other face surveillance hallucinates. 

say "sovereignty" but mean kingdom 
for a queen, a regent regally dispensing 
the good fruits of this threshed landscape 
It comes back around, where lawful domination reigns,  
brutality rains down, raw power holds reins 
and bullets riddle us, with our bodies so suspicious 
to police, private contractors, and politicians 
who plant more rebellion with every burial, 
a commodity market they are cultivating 
for a ripe harvest, a military budget surplus. 

May we desire more than this blood & dust, 
the burial plot allotment of national myths.

Rasha Abdulhadi is calling on you—yes you, even as you read this—to renew your commitment to refusing and resisting genocide everywhere you find it. May your commitment to Palestinian liberation deepen your commitment to your own. May your exhaustion deepen your resolve, make you immovable, and may we all be drawn irresistibly closer to refusals that are as spectacular as the violence waged against our peoples.